Having just had their coach overturned and two of their colleagues killed, the rest head back to the lodge they have been staying in carrying Gordon, who is missing part of his left leg below the knee as it was cut off by a bear trap. After some hysterical arguing, Billy takes charge.

Billy

Arguing is not going to help us out, okay. You wanted us to work as a team, well now’s the time to start. Look, just help me get some wood, we need to board ourselves in, alright.

Steve

With what?

Billy

I don’t know…

He looks at Maggie.

Billy

…check Gordon’s bag, or something.

Maggie goes to Gordon’s bag and empties the contents onto the floor.

Steve

Well he’s not going to have hammer and nails in there is he?

From amongst the stuff on the floor Maggie picks up a hammer and a bag of nails.

Steve

Oh, for fucks sake!

Steve (Danny Dyer) is standing in the middle of the forest, with his trousers around his ankles. His colleagues have just come to find him after he let out a scream/shout. Steve is high on magic mushrooms.

Billy

Steve?

Steve is holding his penis (he was in the process of having a wee) and talks over his shoulder.

Steve

(slightly spacey)

I saw someone.

Billy

Who?

Steve

I don't know.

Maggie turns sideways to look somewhere else.

Maggie

What happened?

Steve removes his hands, turns around and points at them.

Steve

The weirdest thing has just happened, yeah. I needed to have a slash, so I pulled my trousers down, cuz I felt a little bit damp and I don't want to get a rash. I was about to have a piss and I saw a geezer with a balaclava and a suitcase, no, more of a travel bag. So, you've come over--

Maggie

Steve.

Steve

Yes?

Maggie

The mushrooms.

Steve

What mushrooms?

Maggie

You ate them, you're high.

Steve grins and looks up, relieved, before looking serious again and looking back at Billy and Maggie.

Maggie

(to Billy)

Look after him, okay?

Billy

Yeah, sure.

Billy takes a step closer to Steve, Steve raises his finger.

Steve

Listen, now I know we're mates, but, erm... if you look at my cock one my time I'm going to kick-off.

Billy

What are you talking about, I have not once looked at your winky.

Steve

You turn around.

Steve and Billy are laying behind a tree in the forest, each carrying paint ball guns and wearing body armour and safety goggles.

Billy

Look, I'm not saying I fancy anyone in particular, I'm just saying that if I did like someone I wouldn't know the best way to approach them. Dating's complicated in England.

Steve

What are you talking about? English birds ain't complicated, you buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit.

Steve and Billy are laying behind a tree in the forest, each carrying paint ball guns and wearing body armour and safety goggles.

Billy

Look, I'm not saying I fancy anyone in particular, I'm just saying that if I did like someone I wouldn't know the best way to approach them. Dating's complicated in England.

Steve

What are you talking about? English birds ain't complicated, you buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit.

Having boarded themselves inside their lodge, Maggie tends Gordon, who's barely conscious due to blood lose from left leg due to a bear trap cutting off everything below the knee. She gives him a sip of water and goes to sit beside Steve on a step not too far away.

Steve

(quietly,tenderly)

You alright?

Maggie nods.

Steve

I'm sorry about earlier, flaring up and all that.

Maggie

(gently)

You were OK.

Steve

Listen, I want to say something to ya. Sometimes I act like an idiot, y'know. I say things when I shouldn't and, um... shit I've left Gordon's foot in the coach.

He leans past Maggie to look at where Gordon is laying propped up against a sink.

Steve

I'm sorry, mate.