For anyone who doesn’t know, Defective Yeti regularly collects some of the best bad movie reviews in a section called The Bad Review Revue. Normally I’m not a fan of movie criticism, just because I don’t think that someone who sits about and watches movies without ever having tried making one is not, in my opinion, qualified to comment, but some movies do ask for it and some of the quotes are hilariously funny, some that caught my eye were:
Stealth
“A great time at the movies for anyone who has recently undergone a frontal lobotomy.” — James Berardinelli, REELVIEWS
Underclassman
“Once in a great while — usually late August — a movie comes along that’s so lame, it doesn’t deserve a bad review. It deserves a war-crimes tribunal. Ladies and gentlemen, Underclassman is that special film.” –M. E. Russell, PORTLAND OREGONIAN
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
“There’s sad news to report about The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D: Put on the cardboard glasses, and you can still see the movie.” — Make Clark, USA TODAY
Ice Princess
“This movie wasn’t just made for 11-year-old girls; it seems to have been made by 11-year-old girls. ” — Kyle Smith, NEW YORK POST
A Lot Like Love
“To call A Lot Like Love ‘dead in the water’ is an insult to water.” — Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
“I laughed. I cried. Mostly I just wanted to throw up. ” — Michael O’Sullivan, WASHINGTON POST
Alone in the Dark
“Anyone who spends 10 bucks seeing it ought to get 11 bucks change and a written apology from the director and cast.” — Peter Howell, TORONTO STAR
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